collaborative_daredevil | Slavery RP Post XVIII

"I've been eating something, but..." Probably not enough.

"Define 'something', that's an order," Barba demanded immediately, horror scenarios flashing through his mind.

"Whatever fruit I saw first and a couple of slices of toast with soft cheese on if I could manage it." The effort of toasting it and the effort of eating it.

"What do you mean, if I could manage it?" Ivannya asked immediately. "Like--you felt sick? You shouldn't work out until you're sick."

Jamie was frowning heavily. "Did you need help finding the things? And sometimes you only ate a piece of fruit?"

"Not working out, but sometimes I just didn't have the appetite for more than fruit." And he turned his attention to Jamie. "Didn't have problems finding things, it was just that I grabbed whatever was at the front of the fridge."

"But you could have asked us for help. I've seen you when you don't eat at least something with protein for breakfast--you get all weird and shaky," Jamie said. "Is that why you've been avoiding all of us? Because we've all been pushing you so much?"

"I thought you were just angry with me. Because..." Hendrick's voice faded off. He looked hurt.

"I was trying to catch up with all the homework for my classes." And now he moved to hug Hendrick. "Not angry with you, you just felt like too much of an authority then."

"I am not--I am a *pet*, just like you," Hendrick said, honestly hurt. "I'm not trying to pretend to be above where I am."

He whimpered a bit at that, hiding his face in Hendrick's shoulder, feeling horrible for hurting him.

"Hendrick, that's a bit disingenuous." Instructor Marnie didn't sound like she was scolding him despite the words. "Pets can still be authority figures - I am for one."

"But I'm not at home," he said, wounded by Toffee treating him like he was some vicious kind of feral. He held on tight to Toffee. "I don't run the house. I'm not--I don't deserve, I don't want to be seen like I'm something I'm not. Because I'm not some rude working slave, I'm just like all my pet-sibs."

"Hendrick, being respected isn't a bad thing. Some pets pick up a habit of being commanding if they need to interact with free people from a position of authority, and that's something they need. It doesn't make you any less a pet, anymore than my role as an instructor makes me less a pet." She considered Hendrick and mentally assessed his status. He wouldn't fit into her status symbol meetings, sadly.

"Wouldn't see you as an authority if you were a working slave." Toffee put in then.

"But that's not how our house works," Jamie said. "We're not all the same status, but Ivannya and Hendrick don't boss me around. And he's not in charge of Toffee."

"A lot of people have thought Hendrick isn't good at being a pet and that's why he works," Ivannya said quietly. "Toffee doesn't need to be scared of him."

"Ah, I understand." Toffee was hitting on one of Hendrick's insecurities. "I don't think Toffee is scared of you, he simply respects you."

"But it's kind of hard to tell between them with Toffee," Ivannya said. "And I--it feels bad to not be trusted. We're all supposed to be in this together." She felt irritated at the implication that she didn't respect Hendrick because she never saw him as an authority.

"Yes, it is, that's one of the things I was hoping to be able to work on. Hendrick, Toffee isn't scared of you, he's scared of disappointing or hurting you."

"How on earth--?" Hendrick asked, a little bewildered, but he hugged Toffee close and tightly. "I don't--I'm not blaming him for any of this! This is all my fault, entirely!"

"But it does hurt you when I see you as an authority." He whispered to Hendrick.

"I should've noticed this all before, I should have planned better," Hendrick started, a took a breath, looking into Toffee's eyes, and winced. "And--yes. It hurts. And I know it's not your fault, I don't blame you, I know I need to fix this, but it--I never want you to feel that way, I never want to make you afraid. Our family isn't, we're not perfect, but we should be safe, and we should be warm, and you should feel like--when I'm with our master, with Ivannya, with Jamie, with you, I feel like we're in the safe warm part of a ship, and even when there's a storm we're all together and we'll pull through. That's what I want. That's what I was trying to do, I was trying to give you the opportunity to get stronger again, to feel safer, and to move on. And I failed at that, because I'm just not smart enough to understand this. Or to listen to you," he finished miserably.

"You were trying to help, you just picked the wrong way to do it." He nuzzled against Hendrick apologetically. "You might not have had enough information about my limitations, and you didn't understand knitting well enough to judge how much work the steeking class would be."

"Then I should've researched more. I should've seen what was happening, how unhappy you were. I'm not--my whole job is being flexible, seeing around corners, understanding people. And I am a failure at seeing you," he said, holding Toffee tightly. He felt horrible.

Toffee seemed to be feeling better now, and Hendrick was the one who needed affection, but he wasn't getting it yet.

"You set up the classes early, trying to make it easier for Toffee." She put in gently.

"You're not a failure. Don't speak of yourself like that," Barba said firmly, coming to comfort them all. Ivannya wrapped her arms around his waist.

"We all found Toffee hard to read--and I was home with him all hours of the day, it would logically be my fault," Jaime pointed out.

"But we should all move forward together," Ivannya said. "We'll back off, but Toffee shouldn't lie to us again."

"I'll do my best not to." But he didn't think he'd actually lied to them, just not told them everything.

"Telling us you're fine when you're not at all fine is lying," Ivannya elaborated at the look on his face. "It counts, right?"

"It does," Barba said simply. "I'm not going to punish you for this, Toffee--I don't think it would be reasonable or fair, and I understand you weren't acting like this with any understanding of how it would hurt the rest of us. But it's still not acceptable to lie about your health and status to the point where you nearly collapse from exhaustion and have a mental breakdown. I nearly had a heart attack when Marnie called the office," he said sternly.

He whimpered a bit, but nodded.

Maybe he should talk to Ivannya about making Hendrick's sweater first. Then Instructor Marnie cleared her throat.

"Possibly a weekly check in meeting would be useful to you? Where you each brief the rest of the household on your current workload."

Toffee: Overload and Burnout

Re: Toffee: Overload and Burnout

Toffee: Overload and Burnout

Re: Toffee: Overload and Burnout

Toffee: Overload and Burnout

Re: Toffee: Overload and Burnout

Toffee: Overload and Burnout

Re: Toffee: Overload and Burnout

Toffee: Overload and Burnout

Re: Toffee: Overload and Burnout

Instructor Marnie: Overload and Burnout

Re: Instructor Marnie: Overload and Burnout

Instructor Marnie: Overload and Burnout

Re: Instructor Marnie: Overload and Burnout

Instructor Marnie: Overload and Burnout

Re: Instructor Marnie: Overload and Burnout

Toffee: Overload and Burnout

Re: Toffee: Overload and Burnout

Toffee: Overload and Burnout

Re: Toffee: Overload and Burnout

Instructor Marnie: Overload and Burnout

Re: Instructor Marnie: Overload and Burnout

Toffee: Overload and Burnout

Re: Toffee: Overload and Burnout

Toffee: Overload and Burnout