collaborative_daredevil | Slavery RP Post XVIII

What did you start saying when he got really upset? Matt asked carefully. Did you try hugging?

--

"So in other words," Foggy said, "You've been doing a perfectly appropriate amount of work, but people think you magically should do even more? Is this a paid position? What are, um, your defined actual job functions?"

"He pulled away the first time, then I was upset and didn't want to risk hurting him with leaking chi."

~~~

"Not paid, no. Work with a bunch of charities, and it's not all defined. Do a lot of the fundraising and awareness raising stuff."

Matt winced a little, and said, you stopped hugging him? I don't see what else you could have done but ouch.

--

"So are people are treating you like someone who does everything because they don't have anything else to do?" Foggy asked, and clarified, "It's just that sometimes people think of volunteers as having no other obligations and as not doing enough."

"Just got worse from there. Him pulling away made me too upset to risk hurting him by hugging him with my chi leaking, that made him more upset, and made me more upset and my chi worse."

~~~

"And worse with pets than free people."

Matt winced harder and nodded, like when I get upset and angry and Foggy gets angry back, both get more upset until total snap. Very unpleasant, he said softly, and then risked a gentle arm-pat. Not your fault, though. Sometimes bad happens. Me and Jessica can't always be around when scared upset angry.

--

"Absolutely," Foggy said. He softened his voice. "So, to make sure I understand you correctly-- you want to keep helping other pets, both in the charity work and in the more close-up way? Do you think there's anything that would make that more doable for you?"

"I need to learn to control my chi when I'm upset better." He was calm enough to have it under control now. "Jessica can be scary when she's mad, even if it's not aimed at you."

~~~

"Do want to keep helping. But...need to tell them that I don't have to make up for anything. And need to tell Danny that I do want to keep helping. Just not straight away. Uh...not sure about how to make the charity work easier."

And when I get very scared it freaks her out too, Matt admitted softly, especially 'fawning' things. She is not good at being especially gentle when reminded of bad people.

--

Foggy listened between the lines. "Would it be helpful if you had a defined list of things that were actually your job, when volunteering?" he asked softly. "Or if you had a list of what you have done, to remind yourself and others?"

"Fuck, yeah. I remember her reaction when you were here and couldn't remember."

~~~

"Yeah, that would be good I think." He agreed with a nod.

Or gets very angry when I am sad, and is not always helping, Matt said ruefully. Felt very bad about how she held onto me, and squeezed me too tight. But we talked, and fixed things. Understand that I want to support too.

--

"And also," Foggy paused, "What do you think Danny meant to say to you, and what did he say? We didn't catch any of the beginning of the fight."

"It can be hard when someone needed a lot of support to realise that they can offer support as well. Toffee surprised me when he offered to teach Ward to knit."

~~~

"Don't know what he meant, but he said the people who placed Toffee with us wanted to know if we wanted off the list of available households. We took good care of him, helped him, and they were saying it wasn't good enough!" His voice went up as the injustice ate at him.

Jessica and Ward stray feral cats, Matt said sagely, warm purring, soft fur, sharp mouths full of germs. And can be gentle. Toffee is good, he said simply, has a good heart, just got hurt. How is now? he asked, tilting his head as a yell reached them both, the words 'not good enough'.

--

"That sounds stupid," Foggy said sympathetically. "Did anything happen with Toffee that would make them think he wasn't doing too well?"

"He's happy with his new owner. He ended up with DA Barba and his pets."

~~~

"No, he did do the pet self-defense course, and he was so happy and eager to go to his new master."

Matt nodded thoughtfully, and placed a hand on Danny's arm when he went to rush to Treacle's side, saying softly, Foggy is helping, let him feel things without shushing.

--

"So it's not based on reality, but paternalism," he said thoughtfully.

"You said that you'd think being asked if we wanted to be taken off the list meant failing, so he probably thinks the exact opposite of what they meant as well. They only asked if we wanted to be taken off the list as a courtesy - it was obvious they were more interested in how long they had to wait before we'd be available to take care of another pet."

~~~

"I made sure to pay by all of their rules about not spoiling him, or giving him things just so he could have them."

They really like him? Matt asked, putting the pieces together. Are not thinking too broken?

--

"No, I mean them feeling paternalistic towards you specifically," Foggy said. "I've seen that kind of condescension before."

"They were really impressed with how well he'd helped Treacle get his confidence back." Danny assured Golubushka.

~~~

"Think pets are too fragile sometimes."

So success, ultimately, even if it took longer or 'more away' from other things? Matt asked, nodding, is good then. How are you too? Been away or home a lot? he asked neutrally.

--

Foggy winced and nodded. "There's certainly that attitude from a lot of people," he said. "Do the people you work with feel that way a lot? Do they say things like that?"

"I've been home when Matty was mostly since Toffee went to his new household."

~~~

"Nooo..." He trailed off, not sure what else to say.

Matt hummed thoughtfully, and nudged Danny gently with one arm, saying to him, is not your fault he got upset. Sometimes things just set me off. Or bad day spiral out. Once we had screaming fight because coffee got cold and he didn't want to microwave it hot again.

--

Foggy paused, and thought about what to say. "Treacle," he said in a tone of gentleness, "Do you think there could be something else contributing to how upset you got? I'm just asking because I've noticed a pattern where stress tends to build up and then it all snowballs and explodes."

"I don't think he took enough time for himself, when we had Toffee, or since." Danny admitted reluctantly.

~~~

"You think I'm wrong too."

Matt nodded with an empathetic wince, I do same things--think everything will all be okay, keep going until I run into ground. After the bar, completely wrecked. After month of no days off, completely wiped down. After latest kidnapping, Foggy had to take away laptop, to stop working when doctor had on bedrest.

--

"I think you are perfectly capable of helping people, and if you're anything like my Matt you're an absolute star at it," Foggy said sincerely. "But I also have noticed that when we have fights, it tends to be about multiple things below the surface."

"Latest kidnapping?" Danny grabbed onto the distraction.

~~~

"Danny respects me!" He snapped back at the fake Foggy. "So I don't know why he didn't defend me when they said I wasn't good enough"

Matt patiently ignored the yelling, was kidnapped by the Hand with Ward. Dumb, not on her orders, but the woman wasn't Gao. She wanted to...do things to us, he shuddered, more drugs. Lots and lots, and under the subway.

--

"Okay," Foggy said calmly. "Is that what you were asking him? How did he reply?"

"Ouch, was Ward good at helping you get away?"

~~~

"He was talking about me being good enough for him, but that wasn't what I was saying!"

Matt grimaced, got ourselves out. Lots of bedrest. So many MRIs, he grumbled. Had to do math puzzles all the time, remember words. Apple, clock, leg.

--

"So he wasn't hearing what you were saying," Foggy said softly, understanding.

Golubushka and his Foggy: Clearing Up

Danny and Treacle: Clearing Up

Re: Danny and Treacle: Clearing Up

Danny and Treacle: Clearing Up

Re: Danny and Treacle: Clearing Up

Danny and Treacle: Clearing Up

Golubushka and his Foggy: Clearing Up

Danny and Treacle: Clearing Up

Golubushka and his Foggy: Clearing Up

Danny and Treacle: Clearing Up

Re: Danny and Treacle: Clearing Up

Danny and Treacle: Clearing Up

Re: Danny and Treacle: Clearing Up

Danny and Treacle: Clearing Up

Re: Danny and Treacle: Clearing Up

Danny and Treacle: Clearing Up

Golubushka and his Foggy: Clearing Up

Danny and Treacle: Clearing Up

Re: Danny and Treacle: Clearing Up

Danny and Treacle: Clearing Up

Golubushka and his Foggy: Clearing Up

Danny and Teacle: Clearing Up

Golubushka and his Foggy: Clearing Up

Danny and Treacle: Clearing Up

Re: Danny and Treacle: Clearing Up